Have you met your child's teacher?
Think before you answer. Have you really met your child's teacher -- or did you just attend a "back to school night" or “conference day” along with hundreds of other parents?
Don't be a "face in the crowd." Call the school and say you can't attend the scheduled event, but would love to meet the teacher the following week, or even two weeks later. Be flexible -- you can’t expect a teacher to return to school in the evening, or to stay later than forty minutes after the children are dismissed.
Meet the Teacher
The more you know about curriculum, classroom routines, and such basics before you go in, the less the teacher will have to explain, and the more time you will have to concentrate on your child's needs. Look through your child's books and folders, and ask your child some specific questions. Don't ask, "How was school today?" Try "What was the most fun?" and "What was the hardest?"
The most important thing to bring to a conference, though, is familiarity with your child's weaknesses. Does he have organization problems? Is she inclined to procrastinate? Does he daydream?
"Ouch," you reply, "stop that! Why tell the teacher bad things about my child?"
The answer, of course, is so you can work together with the teacher to help your child improve; and to show the teacher you will be a realistic partner in the educational process. You know your child better than the teacher does, and that makes you a valuable resource.
Behavioral Objectives
Every teacher has behavioral objectives -- things a child should be able to do as a result of instruction. Some teachers may not use the term behavioral objective, but they will be able to answer questions like, "How do I tell when Scott knows his multiplication tables well enough?" or, "How do I figure out how well Ellen understands the stories in her reader?"
Take notes. The answers tell you how the teacher measures success. Ask about activities you can do at home to reinforce the lessons being learned in school. If your child misbehaves in class, ask for a plan you can work on together to help your child improve.
Many parents hope that a conference with the teacher will get their child more attention in class. It probably will have that effect, but only for a short time. For a lasting effect, you must follow up on the teacher's suggestions. Use what you learn to help your child improve both skills and class behavior.
Like everybody else, teachers want to succeed -- so the children teachers like best are those who make them feel successful. The single most gratifying experience a teacher can have is making a "breakthrough" with a child who was having difficulty. The teacher will help you provide the extra help your child needs at home, and will share the joy when your child succeeds.
Follow-Up to Your Conference
One face-to-face conference is not enough to plan ten months of cooperation. Ask for a convenient time to reach the teacher by telephone. Check in a week later, but keep the conversation brief. Remember to say thank you for the help you received at your conference, and ask what your child should be doing at home to keep up with current units. After that, check in every two weeks or so, unless the teacher wants you to call more often.
When a teacher is helpful, write a letter to the building principal expressing your appreciation of the teacher. The principal will reinforce your praise, the letter will go into the teacher's personnel file, and the teacher will be very happy. Just as your child needs the teacher's support, the teacher needs yours.
